“It isn’t mine.” And four answers coming next.

You found the vape. Now your teenager has an explanation.

Possibly several explanations. Possibly an explanation with plot holes large enough to drive the school bus through.

Here are five common answers and a useful response to each.

'It isn't mine.' Say: 'Okay. Tell me whose it is, why you had it and whether you have used it.' Do not spend forty minutes proving ownership. Possession and use are separate questions.

'I was holding it for a friend.' Say: 'Holding it still put it in your possession. I also need an honest answer about whether you used it.' Teenagers are apparently operating an enormous storage service for friends' prohibited belongings.

'Everyone does it.' Say: 'A lot of teenagers may vape. I am responsible for you, so we are talking about your use.' Do not attempt to defeat 'everyone' with statistics during the argument. The population of everyone is not the issue.

'It was only once.' Say: 'Maybe it was. Help me understand when, where and what happened. I will also be looking at whether that answer matches what I observe.'

'You do not trust me.' Say: 'Trust is part of this conversation. Right now I have something in front of me that requires more information. Trust will be rebuilt through honesty and what happens next.'

Notice that none of these responses is especially clever. Clever is overrated when you are talking to a teenager who is waiting for one exaggerated sentence they can argue with for the next hour.

Keep returning to three questions: What is it? How often is it being used? What else is happening around the use?

If the conversation becomes abusive, threatening or impossible, end it for the moment: 'We are not finishing this while we are yelling. The vape stays with me. We will continue at 7:00.' Then actually continue at 7:00.

You do not have to resolve every contradiction tonight. Watch what happens after the conversation. Does your teen provide more information? Do other devices appear? Do withdrawal-like irritability, cravings, school problems or escalating secrecy continue? A rehearsed answer matters less than the pattern that follows.