You found a vape in your teenager's room, backpack or hoodie pocket.
Your first instinct may be to snap it in half, throw it in a lake or drive over it (we don’t recommend that as damaged vapes can explode) while maintaining very intense eye contact.
Please wait.
First, photograph it. Capture the device, package, label, brand name, warnings and anything that identifies the contents. A brightly colored device does not tell you whether it contains nicotine, THC or something else. But packaging and product details may give you better questions to ask.
Second, secure it. Keep it away from younger children and pets. Do not try the device yourself. If it is leaking, damaged or unlabeled, handle it as little as possible.
Third, decide what you need to know before you start talking. Useful questions include: What is in it? Where did it come from? How often do you use it? When was the last time? Do you use anything else? Have you ever felt sick, panicked, passed out or unable to stop? Do you drive or ride with people while anyone is using?
Then open with the fact:
'I found this in your backpack. I need to understand what is in it and how often you have been using it.'
Do not begin with a twenty-minute speech about lung damage, dishonesty, college admissions and the cousin who ruined Thanksgiving in 2019. You may eventually discuss several of those things. First, get information.
Your teenager may immediately focus on the search: 'Why were you in my room?' You can address privacy without abandoning the actual issue:
'We can talk about why I was in your room. We are also going to talk about the vape I found there.'
The goal of the first conversation is not to produce a tearful confession followed by a violin soundtrack. It is to establish that you know, learn what you can and decide what must happen next.
That may include consequences, closer monitoring, a pediatric or medical conversation, a substance use assessment or more urgent help, depending on what you learn and what else has been changing.
Worried about what you're seeing?
Our admissions team can talk it through with you and help you decide whether an assessment makes sense.